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New creepy kissing pillows for those who are lonely

By Mason White 8:30 AM February 14, 2014
Kissing Practice Pillows 

By: Hydar Tomar
If you are tired of being alone in bed, you can now buy a creepy kissing pillow to keep you company during the night.

Florida Designer Emily King, 26, said that the pillows, which come with the lips of a CPR dummy sewed into the center, could be beneficial for both inexperienced kissers and lonely hearts.

King wrote the following about her creation.

When I was in middle school, everyone “joked” about making out with pillows for practice. I’m assuming that I was not the only one for whom the jokes had some truth. Let’s just all admit that we all practice made-out with our pillows and we looked really silly doing it. Those poor pillows.

There seems to have been little innovation in the make-out practice pillow department despite the rise in popularity of decorative “Let’s Make Out” pillows and cuddle pillows that are shaped like a human torso, so it is time that I step in and offer a new solution to the middle-schoolers or lonely hearts of the world: a pillow with a mouth. You are welcome. You are so welcome.

I have to admit that I didn’t decide that these gadgets needed to be invented by sheer and sudden inspiration. It came to me as a matter of need. As I was taking out the garbage to my apartment complex trash last year, I saw two enormous suitcases on the ground next to the dumpster. The size was curious to me, so I snapped the latches and opened those bad boys up. The chest-opening song from Zelda played loudly in my head as I gazed upon the majesty within–each case contained a CPR dummy and a big bag of removable rubber dummy mouths. My eyes were wide as I took the hoard of face-bottoms from their cases.. What magical creations could I make with such a weird find?

The mouths sat in a bin in my studio for awhile. They whispered to me as I worked in my studio. We are waiting, they said, and we are creepy. Don’t you want to get us out of your studio? After many months, the rubber lips exhaled the idea of make-out pillows. I’ve been avoiding the insistency of the mouths, but as we near closer to Valentine’s day I know the time has come.

I have to admit that when I mentioned this idea to my friends, the reaction from anyone over the age of 25 tended to be variations on “that’s really creepy,” and anyone under the age of 25 thought it was hilarious and awesome (middle-school to college-age seemed to be the sweet spot of people who really liked the idea). I thought it was pretty hilarious myself until I actually made the things. They are super creepy. But I sort of love them for that.