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Father of three children comes out as gay after being with his wife for 23 years

By Mason White 11:09 AM March 9, 2017
Jeff and Jill Smokler
Jeff and Jill Smokler
By: Emily Lewis

A man came out to his wife as gay after being with her for 23 years.

39-year-old Jill Smokler of Baltimore, Maryland, who is known for her blog “Scary Mommy,” announced on Facebook that she and her husband are getting divorced.

Her husband, Jeff, used her “Scary Mommy” website to explain why it took him so many years to come out as gay.

Jill and Jeff had been together for 23 years and they were married for 17 years. They have three children together, who are 9, 11 and 13 years old.

Jeff, who has suffered from depression as a result of his hidden sexuality, said that he always knew that he was different.

However, he met Jill when they were both 18 years old. He fell in love with her and he knew she was his soulmate. Jeff said that at that point, he was so happy that he found a woman he loves and he thought “thank God then, I can’t be gay.”

However, after they got married, Jeff thought that he was bisexual. He told Jill about his feelings “and so began a long, unexpected journey that Jill and I decided we would take together,” he wrote.

Recently, Jeff came to terms with the fact that he is gay. “Once I came to terms with the fact that I was gay, I figured I had two options: I could die, either from my intentional neglect of my health and well-being, or perhaps from something even more tragic, leaving my children fatherless, or I could come out and hope that I remained surrounded by the love of my friends, family, wife and children.

“For many years, I chose option one; letting myself slip into unhealthy habits and depression,” he wrote.

Jill took to Facebook to make a public announcement about her divorce. She wrote: “Without getting into too much personal detail, this is a reality, which we have faced together for many years. And for a very long time, the deep love we had for one another sustained us through the more difficult moments that our increasingly diverging sexuality created.

“We have spent more than half of our lives inseparable, and we are very proud of the life and family we have built together.

“We have been true partners and friends; we are a team. And while we will no longer love each other as husband and wife, we remain deeply committed to one another as partners and co-parents to the three most incredible kids we could ask for.

“It’s our greatest hope that this experience translates into raising empathetic, caring and open-minded children who learn to embrace their differences. And respect and appreciate that which makes others different, too.”